While The Monster Sleeps
by een nihc
Summary: While the monster sleeps, Nina allows herself to live and love again.


Disclaimer: I do not own Monster.

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><p>While The Monster Sleeps<p>

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><p><em>While the monster sleeps<em>

_Light returns to the earth_

_And all life rejoice _

It has been three months since the Ruhenheim incident.

Life, it seems, begins to resume to normal for everyone.

The media is still buzzing with Dr. Tenma's trial and the serial murder case. Fritz Verdeman, Tenma's attorney is confident that he can clear Tenma's name in another three months or so. And Nina isn't terribly worried about that.

It's a little annoying that she sometimes has to evade persistent reporters when her identity is exposed to the media. But it is a small price to pay considering the new peace and freedom she has found in her life. She finally gets back to the university. There is no immediate threat to her life or those who are dear to her and most importantly, no more casualties caused by Johan. She couldn't have asked for more.

She is allowed to visit Johan once a week in a police hospital. Although the brain surgery that Dr. Tenma performed was successful, there is little indication as to when Johan will wake up from his coma or if he will wake up at all.

So she waits.

During her visit, Nina often recites everything that is happening in her daily life to her brother like how she used to when they were separated in different orphanages in East Germany. Sometimes she will just read to him. Nina wonders if her brother can hear her at all. But it doesn't really matters. She does it because she wants to. Because after all that is said and done, he is still her only brother.

Johan's face is peaceful and almost angelic in his sleep. Under the broad daylight, he is no longer a nameless terror hiding in the shadow.

He is merely a human.

He is merely her brother.

And Nina wants to forgive him, forgive herself and start over.

She hopes that one day, her brother can start over too.

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><p><em>While the monster sleeps<em>

_Seeds grow into trees_

_Among them a single rose _

Winter is about to end. Spring has finally arrived.

Tenma is finally freed from all charges against him. To celebrate, they decided to have dinner together at Dr. Reichwein's house. Everyone was present - Nina, Dieter, Dr. Gillen, Dr. Reichwein and Tenma. They are like a family now, finally made whole again after being united with their last member.

After the feast, they all stand up and raise their glasses.

"To Dr. Tenma."

"To freedom."

"To justice."

"To starting over."

"Cheers!"

They clank their glasses together.

Nina steals a glance at Dr. Tenma as they toast. His gaze catches hers and he smiles back warmly. Nina absently thinks to herself why she hasn't noticed how handsome he is before. Suddenly aware of the new revelation, she looks away hastily and finishes her red wine in one gulp. Being as clumsy as she was, she chokes herself in her haste.

Dr. Reichwein merely arches a curious eyebrow and Nina is relieved that he doesn't pursue the matter and makes the situation more embarrassing then it already is.

When warmth begins to spread on her cheeks, she blames it to the alcohol in her system.

That must be it. Stupid alcohol.

Even though she only had two glasses of wine at most until then, she is still going to blame the alcohol. Because to think otherwise would meant something that she isn't ready to face yet.

That night was the first time Nina got herself drunk.

When Nina wakes up the next morning, she finds herself sleeping in Dr. Reichwein's guest room. Blanket neatly tugged at her side and a soaked towel resting on her forehead. Her head is still aching as she props herself up. Her throat is burning with thirst that she can't ignore. So she gets up from the warm bed reluctantly and makes a bee-line towards the kitchen to quench her thirst.

It's still early in the morning. It seems that everyone is still asleep. She pours herself a large glass of water and savors every drop of it like it is the most delicious drink she ever had.

She is quite certain that she won't be touching alcoholic drinks any time soon.

"Morning, Nina."

Startled, she almost jumps upon hearing a voice behind her. His voice.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

Even after all that they have been through together; Tenma is still ever polite to her.

"Ahaha, it's nothing, really. Don't worry about it."

An uncomfortable silence descends between them. It takes her a while to notice that Tenma has been avoiding to look at her all morning.

"Is there something on my face?" Nina blurts out before she can stop herself.

"No, it's not that." His face is constricted as if he is trying hard to hold back something. He still won't look at her. She is utterly confused. Does she suddenly grow another head on her shoulder or something?

"What?" she frowns in frustration.

This time Tenma looks at her and breaks into soft chuckles.

"Sorry, I can't help but recall how cute you were last night."

_Cute? OH-MY-GOD… What did I do last night?_

Her vision dims and the whole world seem like spinning. Tenma catches her shoulders in time to steady her.

"Here, sit down." Tenma mutters, voice laden with guilt. "I'm sorry, Nina. I was just teasing you. I didn't think…"

He is standing so close to her. She can feel his breathe, long and heavy, against her hair. If she leans a little forward, she can close the gap between them and rest her forehead on his chest. The prospect of it is tempting yet frightening. So she pushes him away instead of holding on to him. She is afraid that if she does, she will never let him go.

"Nina, are you okay?"

She wants to yell to him, "No, I am NOT okay! Because I'm in love with you and I've made a fool of myself in front of you!"

Instead, Nina bites her lips hard and forces herself to swallow the words that are threatening to spill. After a while, she finally says, "I'm fine." although her shaky voice suggests otherwise.

She wills herself to stand up from the stool.

"You shouldn't do that. You should sit down a while longer." Being the kind and considerate doctor he is, he tries to stop her but she is more stubborn still.

"Just leave me alone, _please_."

He steps back and watches her quietly as she heads towards the guest room. It feels like she takes forever to reach there.

The moment Nina shuts the door behind her, she burst into tears uncontrollably. This is it. He will leave her alone like she asks him to and never come back. It hurts more than anything she has ever endured.

A month later, Tenma joins the 'Doctor Without Borders' program. She didn't show up and bid him farewell at the airport. She made up an excuse that she needs to study for a coming test and stuff.

"Good luck, Nina, for your test." Tenma wishes her on the other end of the phone. "I'm sure you'll do well in it."

Long after he has hung up the phone, she is still holding it close to her chest. The noisy dial tone echoes hollowly in her room. Her trance is only broken when her roommate enters their room.

"Why aren't you hanging up the phone? Is everything alright, Nina?" her roommate asks tentatively.

"Yeah, everything is alright." She put down the phone and smiles sadly.

_Except that he'll be going to somewhere I can't reach._

"Brother, I don't know what is wrong with me. I keep forgetting things and I can't seem to keep track of time. I feel so lost."

Nina pours her heart out to her brother at the hospital. She needs to confide in someone desperately and he is the only one she can trust to keep her secret.

"I know I should move on but I can't, brother. What is wrong with me? Why am I so weak?"

Nina sobs quietly besides Johan's bed. Sometime during her sob, she falls asleep. In her sleep, a hand pats her head lightly as if to comfort her. When she jerks awake, it's gone. Johan is still lying unconscious on his bed. There is no one else in the room. She must be imagining things.

"I'll visit you again, brother."

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><p><em>While the monster sleeps<em>

_The mockingbird sings sweetly _

_Of hope and love_

Tenma still sends her some postcards and emails occasionally while he is away.

Nina treasures every one of them. She reads them over and over again until she can memorize every word he wrote. When she replies his emails, she is careful with her words. She would tell him about general stuff like her campus life or how Dieter is doing in his school, but there are things she will never tell him - how much she has missed him, how she has been counting days since he was away, how she wishes he is there when she needs him.

Then one day, Tenma informs her that he is coming back to Germany soon in his email.

She decides to go shopping on the very same day.

Lotte insists to tag along as well. Nina honestly doesn't know how her friend got the news so fast. She hasn't even told anyone yet!

Lotte is the one who changes the most in the past one year. The insecure girl that Nina first knew has now become feminine and confident. To cut the long story short, Lotte was tired of how Karl always treats her as nothing more than a friend. So she decided to take matters into her own hands. She stopped wearing her trademark round glasses, traded her jeans and sneakers with dresses and heels and started putting on light make ups. Immediately every boy in her class noticed her. So has Karl. The rest they say is history.

Now, her friend is more than happy to help with her wardrobe change. Lotte ends up picking a sexy red dress for her that reminds her uncomfortably of that revealing purple dress she wore at Candy.

"No way am I going to wear that, Lotte." Mortified, Nina shakes her head vigorously.

"Why not?"

"Because… isn't it obvious? I'll scare him away wearing that!"

"Hmm, you do have a point. But remember that all men are perverts."

"Lotte…" Nina blushes and lowers her voice. "Tenma is not that kind of guy."

"Alright, I get it. Just don't tell me you're still wearing granny's panties."

Nina's cheeks turns from pink to beet red.

"It's decided then, we're shopping for sexy under garment next. You can thank me later." Lotte announces and adds with a wink. Nina inwardly groans at her friend's enthusiasm as Lotte drags her to another boutique.

In the end, it turns out that Tenma has taken a detour to France before he heads back to Germany.

Nina stares at her new outfits in her wardrobe and sighs. It will have to wait. She glances at her watch and suddenly realizes that she has totally forgotten about a very important appointment with Professor Kronecker. She put on her usual shirt and jeans hastily, not bothering to check her reflection in the mirror before she leaves her dorm. She is going to be late and her professor is going to penalize her for her tardiness again.

When she reaches the professor's office, she is already ten minutes late. To her surprise, her professor let it slides this time. She is even more surprise when he informs her that her graduation thesis is the best paper he has ever seen from his student.

Maybe her day isn't so bad after all.

Just then, her cellphone rings. It's a call from Dieter.

"How did it go? I'm still here for you, if you failed." The boy is ever cheeky.

"How reassuring. Maybe I should have you console me when I see you again." Nina teases back with a smile.

"I can tell from your voice, you made it! Congratulations!"

When Dieter asks her to go back and celebrate with them, Nina declines politely. But when he mentions that Tenma will be back in town on the next day, her face lit up instantly. Her heart is bursting with happiness that she hasn't felt in a long time.

_Tenma is back._

Nina decides that it is one of the best days in her life.

Meanwhile, sunlight spills on a certain empty bed.

The monster is finally awake.

END

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><p>AN: This is my first Monster fanfic. I took some liberty with Lotte's transformation but for the rest, I try to stick to the canon story as much as possible. Thank you for reading.


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